Doodle Card

 

Revisit your roots.
自分のルーツを見直そう。

 

September 27.

9 years ago, my father passed away on this date. My mother was not at his bedside because she was in another hospital. She couldn’t come to father’s funeral since she was unable to move at all due to her disease. I didn’t know what she thought of his death because she was unable to speak as well.

My parents often fought with each other since my childhood. I had more bad memories of my parents than good ones. I often thought why they were my parents.

We all have a story to tell about the relationship with our parents. Good or bad. Dramatic or boring. Peaceful or hostile. No matter what our perceptions are, the fact is that we weren’t born in this world if we didn’t have biological parents. All we need to do is accept the fact, appreciate that we are here, move on and see what we can do about it.

I cannot do anything about the relationship with my parents any more because both of them already passed away. But twice a year — today and February 16, the date my mother passed away — I revisit my perceptions about my parents and try to convert negative ones into positive ones.

I’m still moving on and figuring out what I can do for my parents.

 

 

We are all winners in the first place.
私たちは皆、勝利者。

 

When it comes to life, winning or losing is not the fact. It’s just the state of mind.

Life is a serious game. It can be quite difficult at times. But it is also the game that everyone can win. Many people don’t think that way. They are like “I want to win (but don’t even care even if someone is losing instead)”. Even self-help gurus don’t always think that way. Some of them are like “come to my seminar, so you can be successful like me (while you make me rich for sure)”.

Either consciously or subconsciously, we think that there are always winners and losers. It just turns out that we are just labeling people (including ourselves) as a winner or loser based upon our own criteria, which differ from person to person.

Our life is full of winning. Waking up in the morning is winning. Being healthy is winning. Spending time with loved ones is winning. Doing what you like is winning. And on top of that, being alive is winning.

Why do we have to label our life as something else? Why do we have to consider other people as a loser although doing so doesn’t make our life better? It just doesn’t make sense.

 

 

No pains without gains.
得るものがない苦労はない。

 

Quite often in our life, it is not easy to believe that “things will work out”.

Things usually won’t work out as we intended. We often get frustrated because we don’t see any result or progress as we originally planned.

Problem is, we don’t know WHEN and HOW things will work out. Oftentimes, things will work out much later than we expected, and in a different way from what we supposed.

You worked really hard, but your project miserably failed. You lost money and reputation. But you also got the experience that can save your fortune in the future.

You studied very hard, but you didn’t pass the exam. You disappointed people around you and with yourself. But you also got the self-discipline that can help you for the rest of your life.

Play the long game in your life and business. Your effort will eventually pay off — in the way that you can’t even imagine now.

 

 

Constraints boost creativity.
制約が独創性を高める。

 

“If there is no money, use our brain. And always assume we have no money.”

This was my motto when I was employed. To cut expenses and increase profits, I came up with many ideas. Even when the company gave me enough budget (which was rare), I tried not to spend money — until I found the best way to maximize our return. Of course I was not always successful, but having such limitations forced me to think deeply and creatively. And as a small business owner, now I have the huge benefit from the experience.

Our creativity weakens when we have many resources. It sounds odd, but is true in most cases. Because the ultimate source of our creativity is merely our brain, not resources around us. Once we depend on outside resources — consciously or unconsciously — the ultimate source starts losing its power.

Put some constraints on your work. Create them if you have none. Enjoy them.

Even when you have enough resources, leverage them by your own ideas. Don’t fully count on the resources. Because our great work only comes from within.

 

 

Saying NO is now new normal.
断ることは、いまや新たな常識。

 

When I was employed, I almost always said YES to everything I was asked to do. I thought that was the best way to prove myself. Until I noticed that it just helped others put me at their disposal.

Now that I am self-employed, I have to say NO to many requests from others. Otherwise my businesses can easily fall apart and I am going to be mentally ill. I need to focus on what matters most.

I’ve learned it from my old friend. What she does is against social norms in Japan. She is still employed but refuses to work after 6 PM. In the workplace, she is laser-focused and gets everything done by that time. She also refuses to accept friend requests from her boss on social media. She doesn’t drink at all on weekdays to stay focused. She is very good at saying NO to what bothers her.

We have so many distractions in life and at work. Without saying NO, we are always exposed to countless demands and requests from others. If we keep saying YES in a reactive way, we just put ourselves under the control of someone else. We have to say NO to say YES to what is vital to our life and business.

If you are quite uncomfortable to say NO, do small experiments. Start saying NO to small things with a big smile on your face. Or write a refusal e-mail in a cheerful way. And see how others react. You will notice that it doesn’t destroy a relationship immediately. Unless the opponent thinks of you as dispensable. How come we should continue the relationship like that?

Remember we always have a choice to say NO.